Eric, you officially ruined Reading Festival 2005 for all 50,000 attendees. I hope you are proud of yourself.

(For Ashley Park: This is a joke)

(Updated because people were having a hard time finding where I had put the site)

I am no longer going to post everything she writes to the main page. It is taking up too much space. From now on I will post when there is an update, and you can find it in the navigation bar. Hopefully I didn’t make it too hard to find.

jd.mubix

For those of you featured in the picture below, look at the left side of the page, find “Stupid People”, click that, then when “Ashley Park” shows up, click on her. A window will pop up and show you the story in chronological order.

And if you found a Stupid Person, click on him or her, and waited for a woman named Ashley Park to pop out of thin air. Seek medical attention.

I found a site that breaks down the barriers between technology and rednecks! This revolutionary teaching method comes to us from Advanced Redneck Learning Center. You can also click the thumbnail below to print out this cue card for all of your redneck friends.

Ashley Park update: I posted her comment on the static page.

And here is what she sent me back:

WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I KNOW THAT I LOVE MY COUNTRY AND MY TROOPS. I KNOW THAT BUSH IS SENDING MORE OVER THERE TO BE KILLED. I HATE IT BUT I GUESS THAT IS WERE PEOPLE MESSED UP FOR VOTING FOR HIM. I WASNT TALKING ABOUT THE HIJACKERS THEMSELVES, BUT THEIR “BOSS” DUH. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SO TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT BECAUSE THAT IS ALL IT IS. YOU THINK THAT YOU KNOW IT ALL AS WELL AND YOU DONT. I RESEARCH SHIT BEFORE I TALK ABOUT IT SO JUST TAKE YOU STUPID ASS OWN. YEAH I DO WATCH THE NEWS A LOT IT IS MORE TRUTHFUL THAN THE INTERNET AND WE HAVE ALREADY PROVED THAT. HOW IS IT THAT THEY CAN COME IN AND OUT OF THE COUNTRY BUT YET THE SECURITY PEOPLE AT THE AIRPORT WILL TAKE MY TWEEZERS BECAUSE THEY ARE METAL AND COULD BE CONSIDERED A WEAPON. HELLO I AM A FULL BLOODED AMERICAN FROM THE SOUTH. WE GO NO WHERE WITHOUT A KNIVE IN OUR POCKET OR SOMETHING. SO NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, I STILL THINK THAT THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT IS STUPID. I HATE IT HOW THEY SAY THAT WE WON THE WAR AND NOW WE ARE REBUILDING THEM. IT IS KINDA FUNNY BECAUSE MORE OF OUR TROOPS HAVE DIED DURING THE REBUILDING PERIOD THAN DIED DURING THE WAR. WHY SHOULD WE TRY TO HELP REBUILD THEIR COUNTRY. I WOULD JUST LET THEM ROT IN HELL. THEY HAVE KILLED SOME MANY OF OUR LOVED ONES THAT I CANT EVEN STAND TO HEAR ABOUT IT ANYMORE. I STARTED THIS CLUB LIKE ORGANIZATION AT THE LOCAL HIGH SCHOOLS WERE YOU SHOW YOUR SUPPORT TO FALLING TROOPS AND PRAY FOR THE ONES OVER SEAS AND EVEN THE ONES WHO ARE STILL STATE SIDE. aND DO OYU KNOW THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE THERE CRYING THEIR EYES OUT AND PRAYING LIKE ME. AND THEN THERE ARE OTHERS WHO ARE LAUGHING AND MAKING JOKES ABOUT OUR TROOPS. IF YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT EVERYDAY YOU WOULD SEE WHERE I WAS COMING FROM. PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND THEM JUST PISS ME OFF SO MUCH. BECAUSE IN A WAY YOUR GAY ASS WEBSITE WAS A JOKE ABOUT OUR MARINES. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DONT CARE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I AM SUPPORTING THEM WITH ALL OF MY HEART. BUT THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE TYHINKING ABOUT PUTTING SOMETHING FALSE ON THE INTERNET ABOUT THE MARINES, ARMY, OR ANY OTHER PART OF THE INTERNET, REMEMBER THAT THEIR ARE TROOPS FIGHTING AND DYING SO YOU CAN WRITE FALSE THINGS ABOUT THEM ON THE INTERNET. AND IN MY EYES YOU SHOULD BE WRITING STUFF TO APPRECIATE THEM AND THANK THEM. NOT TO TYPE STUPID SHIT ABOUT THEM.

ASHLEY PARK

I sent her this today:

Ashley,

I think you watch the news too much. First : The reason why we can’t find the airplane hijackers of 9-11 is because they went up in a cloud of smoke just like all our loved ones did. Second: ‘They’ aren’t smarter than us. We are just a lot bigger target. What is easier to catch? A pillow or the piece of lint falling from it? ‘They’ are mobile, and small. ‘They’ can slip in and out of the US without us knowing because it’s trying to find a needle in a haystack. Third: If you think ‘We’ are so dumb, and you’re the brainiac that has figured this out, why don’t you go and move to Canada. Fourth: “Master Mind”? I think someone has been watching too many movies. Fifth: If it is, as you believe that the terrorist as smarter than we are, I guarantee that my site, in no way, is going to effect what they think, because they would check on it. Sixth: How was the channel changed when they were calling for Mayday? This is the part were I understand that you are ignorant. A ‘Mayday’ is blasted over all standard channels. Hm, why would they do this? Oh, maybe because they don’t want the pilot to have to worry what channel he and whoever he is trying to contact are on the same channel when he plane is going down. Seventh: We haven’t sent an atomic bomb over to Iraq because that would start nuclear war, which results in everyone dieing… Which is bad. Eighth and final: If you have a better way to as you say ‘tighten up’ our security why don’t you say something? I mean if you are smarter than the whole country on exactly what we should be doing for homeland security, why are you being selfish and holding that knowledge to yourself? You could be saving countless American lives. Yeah, and death tolls.. not even going to touch that one, because if you had any patriotism at all you would have respect for them, and shut up.

As always, the pleasure is all mine.
j.d.mubix

waiting for a rely… I’ve gotta make a seperate web site for this…

Should I respond and keep it going? Give me your comments.. or should I create a poll? If you want me to keep it going, should I:

• Tell her to check out the site again, cause you know she hasn’t
• Tell her off
• Be nice …. again

You decide.

One of my readers was trying to post this in the comments. So here it is.

If this is your first time reading this, then you need to read this first: (Angry Reader?)

I got this today:

Well you now what, I have always had a problem believing people but I grew out of it. And now I realize why I never trusted people before because they cant be trusted. You post a lie on the internet and dont even let anyone know it is a lie. If you wanted to make a joke you should have keep that website private with a password or something. Not just have it out there for any “gullible high school girl”, can read. But you know what you got got your joke…Ha Ha Ha. I laughed at it.I respect you for send ing me the email telling methat is was just a joke but you should have never put it on there. I didnt know that they would let anybody put anything on the internet but I guess that is another way the world has gone wrong.Later

Ashley Park~usmc_girlfriend

This is what I sent back:

Ashley:

People can be trusted. You have to trust people to get along in this world. Just don’t take everything you see or read as fact. I assume you live america, and if I am wrong I apologize, but the freedom of speech is what makes our country great, and what I hope keeps the internet as great as it is. You have the right to say whatever you want, whereever you want. I don’t believe freedom on the internet makes the whole world bad. I think that it is one of it’s fine points. But, you are free to think as you wish, hence only furthering my point. But I will, for you, change what I have posted to say that it is actually untrue.

j.d.mubix

P.S. Remind your boyfriend and his platoon that we are all in support of him.

She responded:

I am sure that they appreciate your support. I do live in America adn i know that everyone has a freedom of speech. But I think people cross the line when they start making up stuff. Anybody in the world has access to the internet. So if an enemy over seas saw that, they could have planned an attack because they thought all of our men were coming back over here. I know that if we are over there, they will bomb over there, and if they are here, they will bomb here but more people have access to that website than what you think. I think about everyone in this world not just making a joke about my friends. If that website was viewed by the wrong person, it could cause all hell to break loose. Well, I just hope next time you think about other people before you post something false on the internet for the entire world to se.

Ashley Park

This is how I responded:

I doubt that any enemy can figure out any sort of location from what I
posted. If they can, they are smarter than you and I, and in so being,
would most likely know that it is false. Hell is not going to break
loose because of one web page. On another point. You think people
cross the line when “they start making up stuff”.. what do you call
the news?

A friend of mine pointed out to me a very old joke:
“I read it on the internet, so it must be true”

This is becoming a real drama. Seinfeld?

Here is how she responded to that:

The comment that you made about them being smarter than you and I. Could you hijack two airplanes and fly them into a building and then disappear? They can. Can you hack into The United States Government computer to find out our plots. Could you be the master-mind of series of terrorist attacks? I doubt it why because they want us.Therefore they work hard and “Do their research”. They could make us into puppets if they really wanted too. Because America is vulnerable and everyone knows it. There are no secrets here, you can find out anythign you want to know about anyone on the damn internet.You can find out how to build bombs on the internet. So dont tell me that they are no smarter than us. American are DUMB. If we were smart we would have never sent our troops over there. We should have dropped an atomic bomb over there and be done with it. But now more and more of our people are being killed because AMERICA is DUMB. The bad thing is that nobody here realizes this, but everyone over seas and all of our enemies know this. They are just waiting on us to make another mistake so they can cause another 9-11. Like the plane that crashed. How do you think that the radio got changed from the corrrect channel to a different when they went to calling for mayday??? OKay then.They are over here right underneath our noses but we cant see them because we are all stuck up of own asses because we are Americans and we live in the land of the free. Well if we dont thighten up, we aint goignt o be living in the land of the free we are goignt o either be living on their land being their slaves.Or they are goignt o kill us all. We are supposedly winning the war~How do you figure when our death tolls keep climbing and theirs may rise a few a week. So I think that they are a little bit smarter than us.And if you still dont see where iam coming from, you need to get your head out of your butt, watch the news, and then see what you think.

Ashley

UPDATE: I just looked at your ‘referal’ page http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=www.usmc.com&fr=ieas-dns

… you did a search for www.usmc.com…

This speaks for itself:

Ashley: (A Comment on USMC: Crack down on Tats)

I can’t believe that they are doing this. Everyone in my boyfriends Platoon has a tat.They are over seas dieing and they are worried about tattooes?!!!?!? Shouldnt they be more worried about their safe …

I sent her this email:

I’m sorry to get you all worked up but it was a joke. My buddy is trying to get back in the Marine Corps and I made that to make him laugh because they are having a problem with a tatoo that he had before he came in the first time. Again, sorry for the confusion

jd.mubix

She sent me this back:

THATS TOTALLY RETARDED.IF YOU POST STUFF LIKE THAT, YOU NEED TO MKAE SURE TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT BEING A JOKE. NOW I AM GOING TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT BECAUSE I SENT THAT EMAIL TO MY BOYFRIENDS PLATOON.THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE.

I sent this back to her:

You know, IF I was an asshole I wouldn’t have even sent you an email explaining anything, and if you had half a brain you would have realized it was a farce, or at least emailed me or posted a comment asking if it was a fake before you rattled off to your boyfriend like a high school girl with a rumor. That is a great way to take an apology. It was a joke for a friend who was getting shafted because he couldn’t come back in with a tattoo he had before came in the first time. I didn’t make you look stupid, you did that to yourself by taking something that you read on the Internet as truth without asking anyone else. I mean, seriously, are you that gullible? Maybe I should post that the sky is falling. I was nice the first time and you called me names, now it’s my turn

…. nah I’m a nice guy.

So, Ashley Park.. ball is in your court.

UPDATE This keyboard is NOT compatible with Windows Longhorn but sources speculate that Vista will support this new keyboard possibly starting late 2007

Microsoft has come up with a new keyboard that includes a curious button. This keyboard is said to have already been distributed to all of their employees globally. Room362 reporters followed one of the Redmond employees home in the chance that he/she might leak information on a global release date or possibly a picture of the keyboard. All he/she gave our reporters was the image shown above, proclaiming that it was the best keyboard he/she ever used. As to the functionality of the button itself, he/she wouldn’t say. Updates will be posted as we get them.

’nuf said.